Rain In My Heart
- Posted: 25th Mar 2010
- Category: Reviews
After suffering a stroke two years ago, acclaimed filmmaker Paul Watson returned to our screens with perhaps his most powerful, and certainly most distressing documentary to date. Rain in My Heart is a characteristically poignant portrait that documents, with ruthless honesty and exceptional intimacy, the lives of four alcoholics, Vanda, Mark, Nigel and Toni, on the Dickens Ward of North Kent’s Medway Hospital struggling to beat their destructive addictions.
Watson refuses to compromise with anything that remotely resembles a ‘feel-good’ moment - they are notable only by their absence - and his unflinching portrayal reveals a world that many may find difficult to watch. Two of the film’s subjects die during the filming – one of them on camera. Harrowing images of another downing red wine and battling against panic attacks, depression and a desire to self-harm are equally, if not more, excruciating. Watson also lays bare the devastating effects that alcoholism can have on a sufferers’ closest relationships, and the repulsive physical symptoms that the disease can cause. The film’s remarkable intimacy is testament to Watson’s skills and experience as a filmmaker, and certainly to his decision to self-shoot, something he has chosen to do now for six or seven years. He quickly becomes close to his subjects and is able to elicit the most revealing and insightful of responses, challenging our own preconceptions of what alcoholism is, and who alcoholics are.
Rain In My Heart also succeeds where many others have failed and demonstrates that alcoholism is both a physical and psychological illness, often a symptom of traumatic events, as well as disease. At least three of Watson’s subjects had serious mental health issues and two that we know of began drinking excessively as a direct result of personal tragedy. 43 year-old Vanda began drinking alcohol to excess many years ago in an attempt to fight the ‘monsters in her mind’; namely the memories of her brutal father, while Toni turned to drink after the untimely death of her only son from MRSA. The film also addressed other related issues, if perhaps a little too briefly, such as the cost of treatment to the taxpayer, the sad fact that medical intervention is often too late, and the pressures that alcoholism places on an already underfunded and overwhelmed National Health Service.
Although Watson allows his subjects to do most of talking as usual, in a surprising departure, he also records his own thoughts on the film’s ethics and legitimacy throughout the course of production. “What right do I have to film Kath’s grief and why am I asking you to watch Nigel die?" he muses. He then responds in kind to his own question that Nigel's wife Kath had wanted viewers to see the consequences of alcoholism. Watson also describes his own struggle to maintain his distance and produce an honest portrait of his subject’s lives, providing a fascinating insight into the filmmaker’s own dilemmas and emotional journey, as well as that of his subjects.
Credited with the dubious honour of pioneering ‘Reality TV’ in 1974 with The Family, Watson had to approach over 80 hospitals explicitly distancing himself, his film and his approach from the bastardised offshoots that exist in abundance across television schedules today. It was certainly worth the effort. Rain in My Heart’s sobering reality is uncompromisingly tough, but thoroughly rewarding. Paul Watson at his very best.
Director: Paul Watson, BBC, UK 2006, 103 mins
Watson refuses to compromise with anything that remotely resembles a ‘feel-good’ moment - they are notable only by their absence - and his unflinching portrayal reveals a world that many may find difficult to watch. Two of the film’s subjects die during the filming – one of them on camera. Harrowing images of another downing red wine and battling against panic attacks, depression and a desire to self-harm are equally, if not more, excruciating. Watson also lays bare the devastating effects that alcoholism can have on a sufferers’ closest relationships, and the repulsive physical symptoms that the disease can cause. The film’s remarkable intimacy is testament to Watson’s skills and experience as a filmmaker, and certainly to his decision to self-shoot, something he has chosen to do now for six or seven years. He quickly becomes close to his subjects and is able to elicit the most revealing and insightful of responses, challenging our own preconceptions of what alcoholism is, and who alcoholics are.
Rain In My Heart also succeeds where many others have failed and demonstrates that alcoholism is both a physical and psychological illness, often a symptom of traumatic events, as well as disease. At least three of Watson’s subjects had serious mental health issues and two that we know of began drinking excessively as a direct result of personal tragedy. 43 year-old Vanda began drinking alcohol to excess many years ago in an attempt to fight the ‘monsters in her mind’; namely the memories of her brutal father, while Toni turned to drink after the untimely death of her only son from MRSA. The film also addressed other related issues, if perhaps a little too briefly, such as the cost of treatment to the taxpayer, the sad fact that medical intervention is often too late, and the pressures that alcoholism places on an already underfunded and overwhelmed National Health Service.
Although Watson allows his subjects to do most of talking as usual, in a surprising departure, he also records his own thoughts on the film’s ethics and legitimacy throughout the course of production. “What right do I have to film Kath’s grief and why am I asking you to watch Nigel die?" he muses. He then responds in kind to his own question that Nigel's wife Kath had wanted viewers to see the consequences of alcoholism. Watson also describes his own struggle to maintain his distance and produce an honest portrait of his subject’s lives, providing a fascinating insight into the filmmaker’s own dilemmas and emotional journey, as well as that of his subjects.
Credited with the dubious honour of pioneering ‘Reality TV’ in 1974 with The Family, Watson had to approach over 80 hospitals explicitly distancing himself, his film and his approach from the bastardised offshoots that exist in abundance across television schedules today. It was certainly worth the effort. Rain in My Heart’s sobering reality is uncompromisingly tough, but thoroughly rewarding. Paul Watson at his very best.
Director: Paul Watson, BBC, UK 2006, 103 mins